"Love is such a four letter word sometimes"
This was a status update from a friend on Facebook today. When I read it I automatically felt sympathy for him, I know things aren't always easy in love, and it made me sad that he might be having a hard time. Then I thought about it some more... and a little more.... and then decided that I totally disagree. Love is only a four letter word when you let it become a four letter word. When you stop being thankful for love, and start seeing its faults, or blame it for the choices you make, then it might become a four letter word, but those are all choices... and no fault of love itself. Love is a gift. Always. When you take advantage of its presence in your life that's when you will begin to lose love. It is meant to be appreciated, nurtured, and enjoyed. When it begins to take a new role in your life, a role that allows you to believe it to be a four letter word, something has gone very wrong.
I've been to this place, where you almost hate love. I've been miserable and stayed in situations that no rational mind would allow for what I believed was love. Now here is my belief, looking back on my past... love will not make you miserable (I'm talking seriously miserable, it may make you sad, or mad, or upset). It will not make you irrational. At least not in the bad ways. It will not make you consider changing your core beliefs for its sake. Love will drive you to grow, it will drive you to share what is in your heart with those around you, and it will help bring you up when you don't quite have the energy to do it yourself.
Oh, and one other thing... Love is not white fire hot, burn up anything within reach of it. THAT is lust, that is infatuation. It is not love. Love can maybe come from it... grow out of the ashes... but in order for that to work you have to have more than the red hot embers to move it forward, otherwise it will simply fade out. Mutual respect and honesty, commitment, similar visions of the future, TRUST... these are the things that can allow love to grow from lust. It can't be forced, because then you will perceive love as a four letter word.
I'm no longer forcing things. There is no need. I trust and respect, I am committed, and I am honest. It is not white hot, ignite everything else around it. It is sustainable. It is real. I haven't yet had to work at it, it has all come naturally. One day it won't be as easy, but I am fully ready to nurture it and give it the respect it deserves. Its not like a dazzling whirlwind where I can't find which was is up... its like I've come home, even if I never knew where that was. I am at peace, I am happy, and I couldn't ask for anything more. :)