Sometimes I feel like I only write when I'm sad. When life isn't going my way or I've been upset by something or yadda yadda yadda. I do not enjoy being sad or upset. I don't like letting people see they get to me and when it happens it really makes me more upset. Mad. Maybe I write because I need to get some thoughts out. I linger on things. I have a certain sense of... fairness. And when I feel like things are unfair, for whatever reason, it take me while to let it go. To convince myself that "life isn't fair." So tonight I'm nearly back to convincing myself that life isn't fair. That keeping my poker face on and my hand safely tucked away is what one might call "best practice." I'm not quite there, but I'm getting close.
A week ago I was full of motivation and positive thinking and all those warm and fuzzy things that you get when you are ready to get sh!t done.
But then work and stress and life and hormones (sorry guys!) happen and not much else gets accomplished.
I mean.... things did get done. I worked a ton, had Thai for the first time, worked some more. Training got done. I swam (miracle!), I ran, I biked. I got to ride with friends again on Friday... 30 miles with 2500+ ft of climbing.
Sadly I forgot my Garmin for the ride. What I know without the magical data device is it was slow going up and FAST going down. Oh what a ride. On the decent I kept my fingers mostly off the brake levers and just let it fly. Racing down the hillside I realized just how much I really love riding my bike when I get it off the trainer from time to time.
The problem is life happens. I care too much, take things to heart, and when things don't go to plan I take that personally too.
So when I get workouts done and eat "the way I should" - great! When I soothe hurt feelings with ice cream or opt the extra hour of sleep because I'm just not yet ready to take on the world - I'm giving myself a pass for the moment. I mean, let's be serious... ICE CREAM IS DELICIOUS AND SLEEP IS AWESOME.
I'm taking a 3-day weekend. The break will do me some good and I kicked it off right this morning with a really nice 5-mile run. Since I am away from home I will run again tomorrow, along with some strength training, and run again Tuesday morning before heading home and cycle when I get home.
I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend. Head up, chin up. Put a smile on your face regardless of how you feel on the inside - it seems to help.